1. How to take the initiative to meet people and "network."
2. How to evaluate on-line dating and introduction services.
3. Be focused and purposeful ... without seeming desperate.

For some inexplicable reason, there seem to be some people in our culture who are of the opinion that it is not proper for unmarried adults to do anything that might be perceived as actively seeking a mate.

Instead, many seem to have the attitude that if unmarried individuals will just go on with their lives and put out of their minds any thoughts or desires that they might have to be joined together with a mate, that somehow, by some amazing coincidence, a suitable match will just fall into their lap out of the clear blue sky, as if by magic.

That view, however, is totally contrary to wisdom. For the wisest man who ever lived declared this:

If you do only a little, you will accomplish little.

But if you become "pro-active" and take the initiative and apply yourself intelligently to the task, you will maximize your opportunities.

It is perfectly natural to desire to find a suitable mate. The pursuit of a suitably compatible mate is an entirely honorable pursuit. There is absolutely no reason to be hesitant or embarrassed about it.   Instead ...

Ask:   Pray and continually seek divine wisdom to direct your search.

Seek:   Be actively involved in the pursuit. Know what you are looking for. Know yourself and know what you realistically have to offer. Then determine what is right and reasonable to seek. And be willing to invest some serious time in your search. Think about how important it is to find the right person to be your one and only mate for the rest of your life ... and don't settle for less.

Knock:   Be diligent. Be creative. Don't be a slacker. Keep trying. Never give up. But don't panic or appear overly anxious. Just go about your pursuit in a relaxed way ... yet focused, methodical, and persistent.

You do not need to initiate every contact. But you do need to take some initiatives. You may need to knock on many different doors and try different avenues. At the very least, make sure that you position yourself where someone will have an opportunity to find you and contact you. Present yourself discretely in such a way that you let people know that you are approachable and willing to be approached. But do not take foolish chances.

• In a singles bar? Or on a singles cruise?
• Scoping the crowd at the mall or grocery store?
• In a hobby or special interest organization?
• In "Christian" singles groups and functions?
• Is a "professional" matchmaker ever reasonable?
• What about a secular website on the Internet?
• What about a "Christian" introduction website?

• Use common sense and be discrete.
• "Dating" is generally a waste of time ~ it's a bit like Russian roulette.
• Remember the Golden Rule
• Networking means: "Each one reach one."
• Make your availability widely known ... thru friends, family members, and co-workers.
• You can use the Internet safely ... IF  you have an "anonymous" email address.
• Get trustworthy references  before  you ever meet anyone in person.
• Be careful about disclosing your address, phone number, or any other identifying information.
• Enlist wise counsel.
• Do not go to places where you are uncomfortable.
• Try multiple safe avenues simultaneously.
• Step out in faith and take some initiative to make introductory contacts.

This chapter will have more and much better information very soon; but as an initial offering, following are two options for taking a quick tour of one website that claims to be the oldest and largest "dating" website.   From this example, you can quickly get a general idea of how many websites similar to this one work.   Most of them ask you to complete questionnaire that asks a series of questions and then most ask for a payment of from $10.00 to $50.00 per month for the privilege of being able to make contact with members who have posted "free" introductory "profile" information on their website.

There are also some very good "totally free" services available; but it may be worth the cost of a dinner for two to try some of the better "dating," "matchmaker," and "introduction" services.

We will provide additional comparison and evaluation information here shortly.

Option 1 - Take a quick tour with small thumbnails

Option 1 - Take a larger view tour (may be slow loading)