1. How to pre-screen thoroughly -- avoid getting too close, too soon.
2. Know the right questions to ask and how to get trustworthy answers.
3. How to do a thorough background check ...make sure that you do.

More than half of all marriages fail because couples simply did not know everything that they needed to know about the person they chose to marry before they got married.

1. Avoid getting too close, too soon.
2. Know all the right questions to ask, be sure that you ask and answer all of those questions for each other, and make certain that you get trustworthy answers.
3. Check references.

Communicate thoughtfully, honestly, and thoroughly:

Dating is a waste of time for serious minded adults. What is dating, anyway? Some describe it as a ritual in which you pretend to be someone you are not, in order to try to impress somebody you don't even know.

Even worse, for many the "dating game" is just a way of trying to accumulate a parade of trophies to "hook up" with for "one-night-stands." And once each trophy is bagged, the affair is over. So much for "love" and romance.

At the other extreme, some couples end up "going together" for many months, or even years before they finally figure out that they really aren't "right" for each other.

Both extremes are ridiculous and just leave people frustrated and unfulfilled. Far too often, both "dating" and "going together" for long periods of time do not produce the quality and depth of communication that is needed. You need to really dig to know everything that is crucially important to know about someone as a prospective mate.

The simple truth is: there is really little point in going out on a "date" with someone unless and until you know enough about them that you have good reasons to believe they might be a potentially suitable mate.

The "secret" ... to truly effective premarital communication, and to discovering a potentially satisfactory and a lasting relationship is forthright honesty ... right up front.

Just imagine how many failed marriages could have been avoided --

if couples had only discovered before they entered into marriage everything that they eventually came to understand by the time their marriage came to an end.

How thoroughly do you communicate?

How many different people of the opposite sex have you "dated" throughout your life? And how many of these people would you have dated if you had known before you dated them everything that you eventually came to know at the time each of these "relationships" ended?

Just imagine how different your life could have been ... and how different it could be ... if you took a much more thorough pre-screening approach and made it a point to find out all the things you really ought to know about people ... rather than to waste time "playing the field?"

How to communicate effectively, thoughtfully, and thoroughly

1. Always be courteous and polite. Even to unsuitable inquiries and invitations, be sure to decline politely, courteously, and considerately. You are an ambassador for Christ, so be a good witness to everyone you meet.

2. Have no secrets, no lies, and nothing hidden. Everybody has some things in their past that they would like to forget and never have to think about. You can run but you cannot hide. Eventually, it will come to light ... or else it will remain a terrible burden that you always carry around with you. Trying to cover-up the past will never get rid of it. The only way to get rid of the past is to face it, confront it squarely, confess it, and repent. Then you no longer have to hide from it or try to run away from it.

3. Be completely open and absolutely forthright. It is not enough to just answer whatever questions may be asked of you. You know in your heart every matter that should be brought to light, so don't wait for issues to come to light. Take the initiative to spell out what your hopes and dreams and aspirations are, and also any faults and foibles which a prospective mate ought to know about. And do it early in any emerging "relationship" before you become emotionally involved.